Posts Tagged ‘London’

London Student issue six is available now at your college, or as a pdf online here. Read the rest of this entry »

The number of international students at UK universities is higher than ever. Read the rest of this entry »

We encourage you not to get totally smashed and wake up in a room full of stolen road signs. We encourage you not to think that snakebite and black is actually a nice drink. We encourage… but we know it does no good. It’s a vicious circle that everyone – this writer included – engages in when they get to uni, and for better or for worse it’s a part of modern higher education.

A vicious circle it may be, but it’s one that nobody wants to break, because (let’s face it) being drunk is actually quite good fun; the world always looks better through the bottom of a pint glass.

Hangovers may be bad but nothing cures them like an 11am pint with a ‘Spoons breakfast, as you watch the suckers in the real world schlep off to work.

Freshers’ Week, however, is also a great time to explore London town, and it’s a shame if it just passes soaked in cider in the student union. You’re totally, terrifyingly free; you’ve moved in, the loan makes your bank balance healthier than it’s ever been and you have absolutely zero commitments or obligations. Check out Play’s alternative Freshers’ Week section for the highlights of what’s on; follow the advice below – and you might just make it out alive.

The essentials – can’t we go to the pub yet?

Education establishments like to feel important and your new university will be no different. You will be shifted and shunted into as many different events as the jobsworths that work in the admin departments can think of. They will tell you that attendance is mandatory and that not going will destroy your academic chances. They’re lying – the majority of it is as worthless as a three hour long communication seminar would seem. That said there are a few things that you must do…

Top priority is to get registered: most Local Education Authorities won’t pay you your loan until the university confirms that you’re actually there. Then it can take up to 14 working days for the loan to come through. A first month surviving on wages from August and handouts from parents will be a sparse month. You shouldn’t have to start living off plain pasta until December (ish).

Try and budget; no one ever sticks to them, but it’s nice to be able to afford food that’s not Asda Smartprice or Tesco Value.

Get your college ID. It proves you attend and you’ll need it for just about everything. Don’t lose it either: they cost from £15 upwards to replace, with Queen Mary coming in top at a wallet-stinging £25.

For those not going to UCL, find out where Senate House is and get a library card. Yes it’s musty with the smell of decaying books, and yes it has more than a passing resemblance to the Nazi Reichstag. It’s not a fun place to spend time, but it’s worthwhile. Your university library has a limited selection and when the work starts piling up it’s useful to be able to get hold of the right books.

Go to the Freshers’ Fayre but only sign up for what you are really convinced you’ll like. That way you stand to actually get something out of it; pick up a new sport, learn a language or how to dance. Just don’t try to do all three, or you’ll end up as a crap hockey player who speaks Spanish like an American and can dance half a salsa.

Make a sign that says your name, your uni and your course. Hang it round your neck. This will ensure only people with something to actually say will talk to you. Life will be less boring.

Safety – is this the kind of pub for us?

Believe it or not there are drinking establishments that won’t welcome students with a loving embrace.

Furthermore some of the people who drink in these kinds of pubs view students as walking cash points.

There are plenty of great places to drink in London and chances are you will leave the snug confines of the student union, but when you do, try and avoid the spit and sawdust joints. It’s hard to run away in skinny jeans.

Keep away from the rude boys – most look less like a gangsta and more like a reject from Blazing Squad, but there are plenty of people out there who will relieve you of your wallet. So take care and use common sense about where’s safe and where’s not.

Navigation – so which way is the pub?

A-Z. Believe me you’ll need it. I have got lost in many different cities in many different parts of the world, but London is still one of the most confusing places I have ever had to find my way round.

Buses. The tube is sweaty, dank and expensive, so get your Oyster and hop on the bus. It’s cheaper than riding the tube, at 90p for a one-way bus journey rather than £1.50.

Your money goes further, but more importantly it gives you a better grasp of the geography of London than the tube, which plunges you underground.

In no time at all you’ll be able to tell Old Street, EC1 from Old Street, E13.

Health- I’ve been in the pub too much

We’ll keep it brief, and avoid a lecturing parental tone. Try and take it easy, and don’t get smashed every night.

Eat some fruit and veg: salad on your kebab is not included. Remember that, although the liver has amazing regenerative capacity, damage is cumulative. So getting leathered night after night will impair your liver’s ability to heal you. London is full of sad cases that have had a few too many, too many times, for too many years – try not to be one of them. Gin and stale cider is never an attractive smell.

Communication – finding out where the pub is

A small, handy but above all hastily written dictionary to ease you into life in the big smoke…

Geez/er – Acquaintance or gentleman friend.

Innit – Yes my friend, I really believe that my previous sentence was correct.

Blates – Yes, my previous sentence is most definitely correct and I will be

socially shamed if wrong.

Chaps – My! This weather is a tad inclement.

Bare – Very. Combine with the above word to describe a rather frosty morn.

Met/Po-Po – The fine law enforcement officers of the London Metropolitan Police Force.

Rude boi – A young man of limited cognitive skills and low trousers.

Shank – Not as you may imagine a fine cut of lamb, but the knife used by the idiot mentioned above to make himself the latest statistic.

(Cut out and keep in case of emergency.)